Things to discuss before getting Engaged…

Getting engaged and deciding to commit to another person for the rest of your life is undoubtedly one of the biggest personal steps a person can take.

Even if you aren’t yet engaged or married, it would be nice to read it before you get proposal. Do you prefer a simple proposal or a grand one? Do you want to have a short engagement and marry sooner or have a long engagement and plenty of time to plan a wedding? Whatever you plan it’s up to your happiness or agreement of both the families.

For many of us, being engaged means putting most (if not all) of our attention on wedding planning. It’s not always a fairy tale. You are merging your life with your partner. Discuss important things to build a strong relationship.

Things you should know about your partner before getting engaged includes many things. Some of the things I’m trying to list out here.

Favourite food: It’s not about knowing he likes pizza or burger. It’s about when he wants to have coffee, which fruit he likes, what is his favourite lunch/dinner. For what he gets excited about, like all the details. Making each other happy has lot to do with knowing each other’s preferences.

Friends & Family: It may sound obvious, but it’s very important. Before you get engaged to someone you should know about his family, who all are part of his family, how they are, and how you can adjust with them. Who all are his friends and how attached they are.

I’m a believer that meeting the friends can be even more important than meeting the family, because friends are the people that your better half chooses to spend time around.

Hobbies: Whether its golf, running, reading, painting, photography, collecting things, live action role playing, or browsing, you should know what your love loves to do.

Career goals: What do you each want to accomplish in life — and how will it affect your relationship with each other? Knowing what you each want to achieve and supporting those dreams is a critical foundation for any couple.

Work-life balance: During your honeymoon time if your partner puts him at office work doesn’t seems too serious. But if it continues it becomes a big deal. Discuss about his work schedules like whether he needs to work on weekends or he can spend time with you, or will he be able to take certain vacations per year. So that you both can spend some quality time together.

Fears & Insecurities: If you are able to identify the things that make you feel insecure and openly discussing that with your partner is important in maintaining a healthy relationship. If you and your partner are aware of the things you are sensitive, then you can avoid potential problems in the future.

Money talk: Many of us find it hard to discuss about finances. It can bring up the feeling of embarrassment. When talking about finances, it’s better to be gentle and move slowly. Sometimes it may bring up the disappointment in the relationship. Knowing each other’s salary is a good start, but knowing how you both spend them is better.

Discuss about how much amount you can put for savings account. Discuss about whether he has a plan on owning a house in the next few years or are he is fine with happily renting for the rest of his life?

Parenting style: We have all heard the obvious questions. Do you want children someday? If so, how many? What is the general timeline for starting a family, what kind of life we want to provide for our future babies? If one of you is not able to conceive, are you open to adoption? IVF?

Worst qualities: Sure, your guy/girl is perfect. But you can still find a flaws, like he chews mouth open, makes sound while eating, or he just paid the cable bill late, or he argues with the delivery person if he comes little late.

If you can’t name even one thing about your guy that annoys you, then probably you might be a little too love with him.

If you are married, I guess you also had some experience like this. Please share some of your ideas.

For those who are getting engaged… Congratulations for your engagement…! 🙂